Ugadi Subhakankshalu

#debsaristories #ugadi
Aaj mere yaar ki bday hai! Jigri dost ka happy wala birthday. It's Ma's (MIL) birthday and also Ugadi today 🥳🥳🥳 Wishing you all Saarvari nama ugadi subhakanshalu!

We spent an entire lifetime blaming technology and internet, but be honest now - aren't you truly thankful for internet and wifi? What do you think? Wouldn't it have been more catastrophic if internet and wifi were down across the globe? And in past one week there were peaks of panic and valleys of depression now settling into a plateau of understanding and sinking in to reality. Anyways, today's the new year and of new beginnings, new hope and positivity. Ma's birthday today. So I am twice as happy. For the past few years we had started the habit of getting "girls time" with pedicure, lunch of her choice etc before or after the birthday, apart from the usual family celebrations.
This year, thanks to virus bhai saab it's all home alone. I although was enthu and wanted to cook a simple south Indian thali meal. So this was my menu- Mango pulihara, Vengaya sambar, Vazhakka poriyal, Beerakaya pachadi, Keera masiyal , Pavakka curry, Rice yogurt etc. I am off to make filter kaapi now. Been in back to back meetings for last few days. Actually I realized how big a workaholic I am because these days I am working for easily 16-18 hrs a day. So I cooked the meal late nights or early mornings as I knew I wont get time altogether. And these past week made me realize a valuable life lesson. I am thankful to bettu, its because of him i deprioritze EVERYTHING else and make sure I spend every minute with him, his classes, his hobbies. Now I realize he's been indirectly helping me stay sane and have a life beyond work. Otherwise my life would have sucked 🤣😛

CoVID Diaries

#debsaristories #covid19 Aa gaye na sab apne aukath pe? While the world leaders assuming they have the world in control, men faking their power on women, rich exploting the poor... a tiny microorganism silently disrupts the World, brings everything to a halt almost, cannot be seen, cannot be heard.

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%% For every "hoarding " virus, there is a "sharing " anti-virus. What you have in precautionary excess maybe cruicial necessity for someone else.
%% For every "use money power" virus, there is a "kindness and humanity " anti-virus. Remember there are many that cannot afford to stock up.
%% For every "selfish, look down upon people" virus, there is a "help strangers and be front line" anti-virus. Pick your stand now!
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No one can yet harm the virus and arrest it or hang it to death. No one can blame its religion caste of origin,. Ab batao... who is powerful? Like this virus , there are so many other invisible powers which time and again remind us we are nothing but a chaotic, helpless, unplanned, immature bunch of creatures.


Between practical and panic there are so many variations. While a group is busy stocking up toilet paper (sad we are killing more trees than before), tens of bags of onions, wiped out entire department store of santizing wipes, cleaned all cleaners from supermarkets (were we truly living a gutter life before the virus?), another group wonders why they arent joining the majority? They are doing their best to keep clean, not spread germs but yet not hoarding like crazy. Scratching their heads on how much can one stock when no one knows what's the end to this situation and when?!

 - I did not buy any supplies of cleaning or sanitizer
 - I bought dried and fried onions instead of real ones so they dont rot thanks to the panic over buying
- I bought tomato ketchup to replace real tomatoes as well if need be
- I bought lentils rajma chana as backup if ever we run out of veggies and meat and shops are shut - I bought milk and eggs enough that I would generally stock up for coming weeks, not months
- I have frozen veggies which may add up to any meal and also quinoa oats etc which could opt for healthy meal
- I havent purchased medicines that I wouldnt need if I already had one bottle each of the usual cold cough allergy fever medication
 - I did not want to create panic that would lead to depleting resources for someone that may truly be in need

 Offices are almost ghost towns, schools are closed and now starts the real problem. Now comes the real rubber hits ground situation
- Families that had almost forgotten living fulltime with each other realized they are locked up together for next four weeks - hum tum ek kamre mein bandh ho...
- Education and staying current requires new skills which everyone realized even developed countries did not equip themselves with. Many institutions are creative is requiring collaborative online classes.
 - Physical activities require more planning. Active kids that used to spend an hour or two exercising their fitness how need to rely on jogging at home, jumping jacks, squats, jump rope etc to keep up their momentum.

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Remember
 This too shall pass, life still goes on. There are many front line workers that dont stay home but actually out there serving others. Salute them. They have a life and families too. Stay safe, healthy and mindful
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Bura na mano Holi hai

#debsaristories #holi #internationalwomensday #beresponsible Womanhood comes with responsibility as much as manhood does. I am ashamed to accept that I really dont know when international men's day is (if there is even such a thing). So while the world is making big deal of the womens day, my thoughts wonder elsewhere as usual.

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My #womanhoodpledge - I dont need a day to celebrate being myself, t
hank you but no thanks. I celebrate being myself everyday.
 - I also pledge not to use my gender to play any sympathy case, special advantages cards etc.
 - I dont want to claim the "ladies quota" especially because I am seeking equality not favoritism.
 - I dont want to cut lines, so I can get ahead of other men. I am capable of working my way up in fair and just manner.
- I also dont want to assume all women have good intentions just like how all men dont have bad intentions either.
- Human beings of both sex have good and bad people. It's a matrix.. not singular one on one mapping. I will use wisdom and discretion in my judgement.
 - I also dont want to go overboard being this "new age woman" and lose my common sense in the process.
 - I will remember my mom's upbringing and my family's faith in me.
- I would always remember my priorities irrespective of my sex, be it work or home, just like I expect my man to.
 - I wouldn't do anything, I wouldn't expect my man to do. I maintain transparency both ways. We both are individuals and we would respect each other's space.
- I don't complain running errands, groceries, dishes etc knowing it's a choice I made and enjoy doing and fully knowing the rules could be swapped with my man, the days I want to lie on the couch lazily without reason.
- I love being the woman I am, I wouldn't be anyone else and I also deeply thank every man that supported me becoming who I am.
- I am happy in my space, be nice and I will let you be.
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To think of it, my dad supported me in my education and didn't think of me as weaker or lesser offspring. My husband and FIL continued to support my career, my teachers who supported me get into awesome topping grades were all men, my friends in college and colleagues at work.. and my best male friend, my bettu.. thank you all. For because of you, I am celebrating Women's day. And I will every day. This is as "holi" as I can get. Amidst colorful background peacefully standing in my favorite white saree. I would dare not do this for real.

Off Spring and Cherry Blossoms

#debsaristories #madrastalkies #matchingwithnature #camouflaged #springblossom #Sabyasachi More Madras memories. We love temples, no no not just being religious, we love temples as much as our homes. Every "colony", every "area", every "nagar" has our own temple. 🥰

Temples are landmarks. Nope not just historic landmarks like Brihadeeswara temple, or Mahabalipuram or Kapaleeswarar temple. Its also our local GPS. Ask anyone for address help, they will always guide you with a temple as reference. Next lane to anjaneyar kovil, behind pillayar kovil, across from mariamman kovil... even big designer showrooms and banks and any huge landmarks..always refer them with a temple (blessings). On that note, one can lose count on how many shops and homes refer them as "near mada veedhi mylapore". But that's us. Oh btw I was born in kapali temple area mylapore, grew up near anjaneya kovil and now parents settled next to raja ganapathi alayam.. tell a temple reference and you make instant connect with a fellow madrasi. Heart to heart. Direct. Temples are also busiest places on New Year's eve. Even more than pubs. Yup you heard it right. Nowhere else I bet the midnight lines are long and crowded than the temples of madras performing special puja. The entire city even the non religious ones line up there no matter what. It just happens. We all are committed to making a good start every year. Families plan to visit temple in the midnight together. Bachelors also plan for beach party but stop by at the nearest parthasarthy temple or similar amidst the fun. It's just the way of life. And of course, Temples are for prayer, meditation, social gupshup, gossip, proposals, decide country's fate and world hunger, everything. No wonder when parents visit outside madras their first question in mind (beside whether we get idli maavu, vathal, vadaam, etc) is how far is the nearest temple? It truly matters because it's part of the daily routine. Whether you are religious or not, you cannot be not influenced by a kovil in madras. One way or other. Spring is in the air. Nature was blooming so I also matched with it.. I also attempted the belt and casual drape like my guru sabyasachi. Yeh I look like the nakli version of his model. But he is an inspiration to all indian women who love sarees and I am not ashamed trying his ideas in my own way :) I dint know which pic looks good. So posted few. Once you gals let me know which one to keep, I will delete the othe one and update the post accordingly. Teek?

#debsaristories #nomakeup #therealme #madrastalkies #summer #marinabeach The real me - no makeup whatsoever, simple garden vareli saree hand painted by ma 30 years ago, velvet blouse 20 years old from platforms of pondibazaar madras (yup it's always madras for me). This is all I dreamt of growing up. Ek acha sa family, the saree draped me, loving people at home (again not nuclear but joint family) happiness, garden, kitchen and kids (I dreamt of baby girl but now nothing can take bettu's place from my heart 🥰)

#debsaristories #shiva #power #shakti #slipofthetongue "I dont believe in looking pretty, I believe in looking real" I blurted impromptu yesterday in a work meeting. Radio Silence in the entire room. And the men folks (who are actually the nice kind to work with) go.. "ouch, that was a killer and super powerful Shalini ". The funny thing is I wasn't giving motivation speech or even talking about gender stuff. We were discussing our program status.

Some people have the mindset to believe that changing dates (pushing the problem to later) or changing the status color (sugarcoating) makes the problem vanish. Nope it doesn't. Others (I, me, myself) fall in this category like to see things ahead, worry ahead and try to solve ahead. And now read the above sentence again. That's what I meant, although the men couldn't stop giggling and i did say, "ok guys i take credit for this power punch of the day, move on"! Apt timing! As a kid I wondered how Mrs. Durga the beautiful, powerful, strong, badass woman ever liked a not so hep, unclean, almost unshaven, "ashes" for body odor instead of "Magnetic Axe" and especially when his job is to be the keeper of a graveyard. Look at his peers, they were well dressed, match gold ornaments with their wives, lived in heaven etc. Crude immaturity of course. It took me a decade or more of married life and bouts of "growing up" to see the "shakti" in their relationship. This Mr. Shiva is what many women seek in their partner. He is cool, doesn't care much for external looks, does his job really well and with sincerity, let his empowered spouse be in all ways possible. Let her be the forerunner for wars and victories, trusted her abilities, managed their individual tempers by dancing the anger out together (isnt that cool.. couple goals!?) and thereby gifting the world, the amazing bharatnatyam and shiv tandav, by nurturing a good family and yes valuing her personal space and let his wife visit her mom's place every year where she is celebrated for ten whole days by millions. That's a very different perspective. Needless to say he's my fav and also because I am married to such a person who lets me be and trusted my abilities even when I dint believe "I" had any (forget rest of the world) To all menfolk that are the Shiva's of the world today a big shout out for being our friends and walking by our side instead of expecting us serve at your feet! And that's the non-poser posing for Shiva and Parvati alias Durga today. #sotd is a hybrid linen.. perhaps jute mix. I like the fact it doesnt cling and wrinkle and I can repeat it again without any effort

#debsaristories #englishvinglish "You're good!", "I am good" and the confusion Work culture of course differs between countries and so does language, although English is the universal (and phunny) language

 ########### In the initial days, during one of the face to face meetings with an executive
 Me: (wrapping up the meeting), and that's all I had in agenda for today
Exec: ok great, you're good!
Me: (surprised and wondering how he knows I am good especially because I had just joined but anyways I happily thought my good work reputation runs ahead of me 😛) "THANK YOU"
Exec: "Sure, You're good" Me: (this person seems to be very good and humble, he's repeating in praise) "THANK YOU VERY MUCH "
Exec: "????????" Expression wondering why I wasn't leaving his office. So he said "I am getting late for another meeting and you're good "
Me: "ok thank you. Also many thanks for your generous compliments "
Exec: "Excuse me?" But he didn't bother to drag the conversation
Me: super happy that day. But shortlived. Mujhe kya patha tha "You're good" means "Chal nikal, phut le yahaan se" or in simple words "get out".🙄🙄🙄
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Few months later, Different day, Different Exec. I had brought some goodies from India and I was sharing it with my colleagues. Being the respectful person that I am (of course kidding), I walked in to ths Exec's office After exchanging pleasantries about my trip, and catching up on work
Me: I brought these sweets from India, hope you like them
Exec: I am good
 Me: (wondering why he is suddenly self boasting) "I agree, in fact we all see you as our leader and guide, oh btw do you want these sweets?"
Exec: (not exactly following my comment) "Not sure about my leadership, but I am good"
Me: (hadh hai, yeh to arrogant bandha nikla, baar baar self dabba kar raha hai, who cares if he is good or not, I am not here to give his character certificate and I wont praise him anymore) "Oh, you are good, but the team is great too. They are very hardworking " By then I wasnt in mood to offer him sweets anymore as I was annoyed and I made an excuse and stepped away. Oh well, the exec didn't complain either because that's what he had been trying to communicate from the first place! "I am good" matlab "I dont need what you are offering " or basically "Baat khatam"
 🥰🥰 And I learnt to live by two other mantras. 1. You can be forgiven for any mistake if you blame it on the lack of your usual morning caffeine intake. "Its not me. It's the coffee or lack of" 2. You can become friends with anyone if you empathize and offer them coffee. It connects almost instantly. No occasion, just sunny day, happy Friday, happy me. Saree pehenne ka koi acha waqt nahi hotha hai, jab pehno tabhi se acha waqt shuru #battameezdil

#debsaristories I came back too soon. Waise Chai piyoge? Cooking to me is equivalent to prayer and feeding equals to blessings, so obviously kitchen to me is sacred and favorite place. I enjoy the process starting from chopping to the final presentation, every single time. I like to serve well even if it's just us and not only when expecting guests. It must look good, smell good and then of course taste good. Its seduction. And chai to me is amruth "prasad".

 Today when baba ate my typical bengali "bandhakopi r tarkari" for lunch and said I made it like his mom used to, it's a huge compliment and blessing. Especially because I learnt from my mother inlaw who learnt from her mother inlaw. Back when I was 13 and made bhindi for the first time, nanna (dad) said the same thing that it reminded him of his mom's (nannamma) vanta (haath ka khana).. although my grandma passed away when I was 3 and whatever I cooked that day was from my own heart's recipe. Besides sarees the only other personal favorite I can pass to my nextgen is everything I learnt from amma and ma. Today early morning I dreamt of having chai with Niveditha in our previously owned gurgaon apartment. I don't care where, but certainly Nivi ke saath chai would be an amazing moment. I think the dream is a consequence to her traffic wala post from yesterday! Agar mera ek aur sapna sach hona chahoongi, that's my dream to do saree (and only saree) modeling . Bachpan se shauk tha modeling ka, kabhi poora nahi hua. Model wale looks nahi the na. Khair chodo. I loved all the khadi sarees from Darbaar movie and I realized I dont have a ponduru khadi saree in my collection, so although I wasnt planning to, I settled for this begumpuri saree to enjoy chai, kurkure with Ma and watch our favorite TV shows the Kapil Sharma show and Dance Plus. All cottons to me are "indoor sarees" nowadays. The weather here although not snowing doesnt favour cottons a lot. Smirk. 🙏🙏 Annadhatha sukhi bhava 🙏🙏 Ghar bhaite World Tour! Dakho mein kahan kahan chali gayi (pic in comments). Patideb asked if I need more tours I said, nahi bhai.. bahut zyada jetlagged hoon, do din lagenge recovery mein.

#debsaristories #desividesi saree and crop top Never have i been so excited about growing older, so much so that I countdown every day. This 40 is definitely doing some tantra mantra on me. By now half the world I know and the rest of the world they know know my age. 🤣🤣🤣 colleagues (the Male ones had this, oh! Is she sharing her age publicly expression), gymwale, all usual departmental stores I visit, neighbors, and their world knows it. I share with them my goals or things to do I have in mind this year Oh no! My intention isn't celebrations or gifts. Least of my excitement now. But something motivates me to take a pause and do a check in with myself, because more than half of life's marathon is completed. I don't remember this enthusiasm before my 10th bday, or 20th and 30th bday. Those came and left. Perhaps its because I am around from a long time and feel I am antique, gyani now. Like.. forty years down the line someone sees my pic from today and then someone else says "sorry madam ajkal aise piece market mein available hi nahin hai.. yeh to chalees saal purana maal hai.. abhi aisa karigari nahi milta" Perhaps because I turned out to be ok after all, because all of us took time and effort to be what we are today. Maybe because I feel so young at heart, I am laughing at this number to say "tu pagal hai, I don't feel 40". Or because a lot of us don't fit into typical stereotypes that the age number brings with. In over excitement, I had committed not to buy new sarees. Ye, I splurged last year and bought few collectible ones too and stacked them like priced possessions with no intent of draping them anytime soon. But omg, it ain't easy at all to resist any amazing six yards. Its like addiction and getting away from it is tough. I told family though: I am open to receiving saree as gift, that's not a problem with my resolution. Immediately comes patideb response- this year my goal is not to gift saree to anyone. 😡🤬🤬🤬 he knew to be on mute rest of the day. Oh btw patideb is taking me places these days. Don't run far into imagination. He found this app that does the job of switching background pretty good, so any vacation I have in mind he uses that as background with my saree pic in forefront. And then says "anyway your matlab is not about visiting places and learning, your main motto is a saree pic, so here you go. I can even take you to moon this way!" 🤬🤬🤬 So yea! I am on moon today as you could see!

#debsaristories #desividesi xxxl size post You dont realize what you gained unless you lose. ❤There always can be a better you ❤ #feel20at40 Different people different problems. For some that are long limbed the disadvantage is that weight gained gets camouflaged and you dont realize when you shape towards unhealthiness.

"You look fine", "You are skinny anyways", "you have nothing to lose " are common un-compliments. But honestly, your inner voice may not always buy those! Mine didn't. Human beings are animals and our skeletal structure is very lean. Rest of the animals in the ecosystem may not go through weight issues maybe because their lifesytle and habits have been significantly consistent since creation. Like lions dont watch TV with popcorn or deers dont drink soda and eat junk. But humans have evolved into other beings than originally created. So our bodies have started messing up as well. Unless we work hard and take conscious efforts to stay on track it's hard to be close to the original design. Its like handloom sarees. It requires effort and skilled labour and its tough. My ahaa moment was in May last year and have worked out fifteen pounds off of me since. I have a personal goal to look like my twenty self when I turn forty in few months later -- only more happy, wise, healthy and emotionally wealthy. I am still on the way towards the goal and will share with you all as soon as I get there. The feeling of healthiness and being active and physically energized is the reason for this effort- looking skinny or not is a bonus, and not the main reason. EDIT: I joined a gym where the one hour workouts are HITT. Treadmill, Water rowing and Floor exercises. When you start its definitely tough and tiring. I went five days a week although for around five-six weeks, later maintained atleast 4-5 days a week. During this time I would be ravenously hungry after workout so relied on eggs for breakfast. Lunch would be daal or salad. The key difference is to complete dinner by 6:00pm. Later if you are hungry, grab few nuts. Drink water (the terrible headaches due to dehydration are definitely not worthy). In between if you snack, eat chat, drink chai,eat icecream that's perfect. Marna thode na hai... fit hoke jeena hai bass. You would definitely see difference. The toughest part was to get up of the bed early morning (that was my only available me-time spot). Honestly, everyday I would feel like going back to bed, but the visible results and the inner satisfaction kept my driven. I want to try Pilates or Yoga but want to be slow and steady. Ab bhi long life ahead. I don't need to exhaust all mu options at the same time, I can stagger instead. So pls dont take fitness and health lightly. We are privileged to have the ability and access resources to eat and live a healthy life. There are many out there struggling to meet basic needs, do understand that our bodies and mind are our responsibility. Apna khayal rakhna.

#debsaristories So many wonderful pics from ssmeet all over the globe. I am cherishing each one of them! I missed the opportunity to participate, but guess what. Itni shiddat se chaaha... hubby did a marathon drive from canada to sfo and we ended up home by 02:00am. Even more my dearie Kavitha Krishnamurthy had planned satyanarayana puja at her place today and there comes the saree meet! Two is a group too, home is a wonderful location too. What say? I love listening to poetry turned music, and was wondering why our generation hasnt ben able to give birth to a rabindranath thakur, bharathiyar, annamayya, vemana, tulsi das? Even more, many nextgen kids dont speak or understand their home language (not just mothertongue... because fathertongue could be different too). They may not appreciate the literature forget about even attempting to create their own. I, for weird reasons connect with languages. I love to be able to talk to you in your language, I would love to learn if I dont know. Someone told me.. "why do you assume the responsibility of culture and language is upon you? Why? Why do you insist your kid has to speak your home language? His natural setting doesnt require it, it requires English. He wont appreciate it when he grows up!" That's what I was told. I asked "why did you assume your baby of 18 months wouldn't appreciate being taught home language in addition to English? Why or how did you decide on your kid's behalf that he or she doesnt think its amazing to learn one's own language?". Silence. I am not questioning anyone's choice but more worried for the rich cultural history that may soon vanish. Similar to how this group tries best to keep alive the 5000 year old saree history, we may need a #languagespeak perhaps to keep some of our indian languages alive. Our tolerance and acceptance of intra-national Indian languages is much lesser than for international languages. Even in India so many families migrate to different states and still keep their home language intact while adopting and adapting to newer languages around. That changes when e step outside the nation..Perhaps because English is "cool"? I see a lot of Asian kids speaking mandarin and English fluently. They blend very well in both cultures. Hum bhi to kam nahi... kyun na hum bhi kareyn? I hope India could still give birth to more Rabindranath Thakurs and Bharathiyaars in future too. I hope. Btw when bettu and I had an argument yesterday he said "ami amar kaan kete kutta ke diye debo". Meaning I will cut my ear and feed the dog. I try best to hide my smile and or laughter.

#debsaristories #mazaaagaya #frozen #bollywood Ladies, it's extremely important to make sure we pack few women health staples as we had out for travel. What if there is a sudden need to use one during the journey when you least expect it? Its important to be prepared. I m not talking personal hygiene products, I know you are all much better planners and preparers than that. I am talking about saree. Duh. And yeah I hereby declare it's a women's health staple. Its antidepressant! As we headed out for a break, I quickly wrapped saree in a pouch and put it in my backpack. And guess what? There it was. Enroute our journey this beautiful snow shower. I immediately used the restroom to get ready and wonders of wonder hubby was not just willing to take pics, he even agreed to a slo-mo video.

I chose a tamizh song voice over (veesum katrukku) but hubby wasn't super impressed and chose this hindi song for voice over instead. You decide! I then wanted hot cocoa. As I sipped, i was reminded how beverages and India have a strong connection. Any morning if you visit someone in Tamil household the question goes "kaapi sapidringala?". If you said ye, you are lucky. That's the first best strong decoction. As day progreses, the question is still asked by the coffee becomes lighter and lighter. When I started working in delhi any household we would visit would offer chai or lassi depending on the weather outside. And then come bangalis.. anytime including midnight "chaa khabe" is common along with maybe singaras, pyaazi jalepi anything anytime. Food is life. Truly. Here you can travel from coast to coast and wont find much variation in cuisine except if you are very experimental and research for local family owned eateries. McD to Starbucks, its same across (good and bad so not complaining) For now I am enjoying the snow moment experience

#debsaristories #marriageanniversary Today is our day- 14 years of togetherness. Mauka for celebration and also some "getting ready". Weekday occasions are celebrated over the weekend. Had a blast. All of us eating falooda icecream, me sitting criss cross in the car fron seat, listening to Kishore Kumar, driving through the curvy roads and enjoying the moment. That's my kind of celebration. Low key but heartfelt. Today was hectic day but squeezed a maika to saree and took a pic of self and of course better half. We built our lives from scratch and have been for each other when we had nothing. That's the sweetest memories and we still think.of them one way.or the other everyday and smile or laugh at it. End of day, the friendship, respect and humor are three things that keep relationships strong and healthy. That's what I realized. Ab a little more kishore kumar and little more flashback time to relive the beautiful journey ❤ Organza saree with dull gold sequined blouse

#debsaristories Yeah, been a while since I posted. But chaltha hai, hum bhi kaun sa VIP ye Amitabh Bachchan hain! 😝 Honestly, I am dozing asleep after thirty five hours of sleeplessness (a very accomplishing project at work completed and we were up all night yesterday, sometimes all this effort feels good without any expectations in return) the only reason I am awake is because I had a satyanarayana puja invite in the neighborhood this evening = saree-ing!

So yes girls, this post is not because I am in amazing location, with outstanding background or first class photography or I am posing like a model. It's only because I am wearing one of my favorite gadwal sarees from ma's pitara. The last time I wore this is in 2003. The velvet blouse is from 1999 when these costed 50/- and were hugely popular. I wasn't fan of them and purchased just because everyone did! Well I now want these in all colors, but good luck with that! Old times cant be rewinded, huh? On the same note, during the puja arathi they wanted ladies to sing, so I quietly went to the back row. Gaana or hum? Backbencher pls. But when a teenager girl started a tune, something inside me rang a bell. I somehow started humming the lyrics of that varnam through completion, which i learnt when i was 11. Ye, i wanted to learn dance, amma said "you cannot dance after a certain age but you can sing at any age. Look at m.s.subbalakshmi." ye super valid point, but amma forgot that uske liye there is a basic prerequisite - good voice. Hum to bathroom mein bhi darte hain to sing... ki khudh hi khudh pe tamatar phekh deyn!!!! Me and carnataka sangeetham, oh no. I am glad I chose not to harass people. Haan, one thing though - the music in my heart never stops, there is always a song going on in my heart and sometimes I dance to it too in my heart. Hum isi se khush hai.💕💕💕 Oh I LOVE this gadwal from old time weaves.

#debsaristories #sareespeak After bidding tata bye bye see you to Lakshmis and Durgas, it's time for the devils. Well if Gids were here, can devil's be far away anyways? I am not a great Halloween costume person but today teamed my "owl" tee with black saree for devil combo. I couldn't find my purple mask so ye, chuck it. That's the devil me. Ok?

 Yet another interesting conversation with a colleague and senior at work. The colleague's eight year old daughter who recently started playing soccer apparently was just running behind others who were chasing the ball instead of chasing it by herself. And the parents were disappointed about it. The rolley eyed me couldn't stop but said, shes just eight, let her be. The colleague said it's ok for her not to win but she should be giving her best (and pumped fists into the table). I said , how do you know she did not? Quiet. Silence. You seem to be a patient parent is the remark I got, followed by let's change the topic. I am glad we did. Patient parent (that sound so contradictory right)? I wasnt always at least to begin with. But growing up with bettu i understood that for a kid to grow up well, it's not about them raising up to our expectations, but rather its important we get down to their level of requirements and understanding. Not every kid is born to compete at eight. Some develop that skill at eighteen, twenty eight, may be even forty eight. Or maybe some never will. Just like how not all kids know to sim, dance, paint, be human, become a prodigy. Its an infinite spectrum. Does it mean we stop pushing them? Perhaps not. Where there is passion, let's help them set a goal, small or big. Let's help them work towards it. It's hard for kids to keep a goal in mind and work towards it. That requires a lot of maturity (common, how many times have we set goals and just forgot about them because it was too much work!). Let them enjoy the process of learning. Allow them to realize where they need to put more efforts. None of these are overnight changes. It takes years. We lose patience , we freak out when other overachieving kids come with remarkable successes and worry for our own. Guess what, each take their own time and eventually will find their way. Good guidance nevertheless is the constant in this case. Are kids that arent competitive at eight losers in life? Of course not. They have seen the earth only for eight years and have a LONG way to go and deal with competition all through life. If it comes naturally to them, nothing like it but until then let them be. Let us first try to become a better parent as much as we expect our kids to become better children. That's the devil in me. Now at rest.

#debsaristories Unplanned saree post. But when indeed I draped a saree, then why not post and share the happiness. Diwali is all about lights- literal, emotional and spiritual. The other day a well wisher colleague was asking me about my future career plans, I laughed and said I have none. She asked if I dint see myself as a CXgroup. I said of course not, I wasn't even thinking. That wasnt my priority ever unless it came organically in the course of life. When I was thinking later about it, I realized I figured out that few things are clear in my mind. When life wants to flow beautifully like a stream through hills, valleys , forests, meadows to reach the ocean...why should I try to capture and bind it in a bottle in the name of "plans". The following lamps light in my heart everyday. Some days, when one of them darken, the other lends light and oil to keep it glowing 1. I don't compete with anyone 2. I don't compare myself with anyone 3. I don't self sympathize What's (destined) mine will always be (and what'snot, wont be mine likewise). The following lamps I use to light others 1. Be nice, not expecting anything in return 2. All days arent same, learn to sail through the ebb and tide 3. Spread happiness. It definitely helps and world needs it in abundance If each of us try our bit, everyday is Diwali. Aaj took time for a simple Rangoli at home. Bettu helped me a bit too. We chatted about my childhood Diwali memories and I told him I will share today's stories with my grandchildren in future. He had a shy smile, he liked the idea. Happy Diwali weekend girls. Stay bright!

#debsaristories Bahut zyada masti ki aaj. Diwali get-together at work (mostly driven by my enthu)! Since its outside India, Its that time when the student in me is more fully awake (creative side I mean,) went yesterday night to office to do Rangoli (do u like it?) And decoration for photo backdrop. Again motivated my (vi)desi colleagues to drape saree (lended them mine) and not just that aaj to exceeded my own barriers and danced after 16 years! Last time was in 2003. Naacha (and nachaaya bhi) to Aankh maarey and we enjoyed the unplanned impromptu team dance! We also did garba steps with my videsi colleagues, them in sarees! Kuch habits cant die. Like this one, the celebrations during festival and to create that "mahaul" to step away from work and have some fun! I am glad this is accepted at workplace despite being outside India. More special because my silent spectator #sareespeak friend and colleague Monika Aggarwal is in saree and she looked STUNNING. The grey blackboard seemingly looking like clouds gave the amazing backdrop. I shared a video for the first time of my pagalpan (danced to several others too today but that's an overkill) I love every bit of colors, celebrations and the happiness it brings. My smile hasn't vanished even after two long days of stress, work and planning :) Diwali hai!

#debsaristories #durgapujo Sarhad paar ke bhi pyar mil sakta hai. Last month I started conversation to invite my neighborhood girl gang (all non-bengalis except two) for a bong style bijoya get together, that was for today. When I mentioned red white theme, there was unbound excitement. Some even started Amazon shopping for sarees. Made me think! What's bong dressing without big bindi and shakhapola? Well of course I wouldn't get it here in USA , that's when my dearest friend Minsha Mishti Ahmed helped me with 40 pairs of shakha pola, bindi packets and even rose flowers for all ! So much hungama! But honestly every bit of effort was worth it, my neighbor who is from Pakistan (shared her pic) enjoyed the saree drape, the bindi and sindoor and was so happy being part of the occasion. Today coincidentally is Lakshmi puja for many observing bengalis. What's more wonderful than forty sakshath Lakshmis walking and blessing you with their presence. Treated the girls to some bengali delicacies, loochi, mangsho, cholar daal, aloo phoolkopir tarkari, pyaji, paneer, pulao and patali gurer payesh. I am draped in an Assam silk saree teamed with a brocade blouse Minsha, love you re. This was impossible without you. In a world where friends and family hesitate to help, you have helped me without thinking twice. Big shoutout to #sareespeak friendships!

#debsaristories #durgapujo Ashche bochor abar hobe. Ah that time, bitter sweet. The past five days flew so fast, and the wait starts already for next year. Sindoor daan is very special, I got attracted to it, the first time I saw it (that was before marriage). But the sweetest part is being with ma and when she applies sindoor on my cheeks with love and only love. Ma's blessings are what Dugga would have bestowed upon me if she stood in front of me. I always wear white red saree for dashami but today my dry cleaned garad was more of a tent material for Yosemite than to be draped. I tried in vain. It wouldn't hold me, it just wanted to create this weird hard pleats and pallu that I looked like a badly made defective manipuri doll.😒 This pure Assam silk came to my last minute rescue. Happens. Cant crib, just moved on. Ashche bochor abar hobe! It is a sweet surprise when sakhis from #sareespeak recognize you outside of Facebook! Thanks Urmi S Roy and Anu Pai 🥰🥰🥰 Shubho bijoya to you all!!!

#debsaristories #durgapujo The rolly eyes game! It's a silent hide and seek. Do you see this too? Women trying to avoid eye contact even though the HUGE you are standing right in front of them like iceberg in front of Titanic? Yeah I witness a lot of that during these socio-cultural events. The "higher ups" trying to avoid the First eye contact with the "commons". Its like, "you go first, you look at me, wave at me, try to smile, yell, make faces while I try to pretend that I am super busy and important person and I will completely ignore your presence even though you are less than two feet away from me". Sometimes they even summon someone behind you ten feet away and you wonder if THEY are long-sighted or did YOU just magically become invisible like Mr. India. I observe this game being played all around me in these gatherings. What a fun to watch (pun intended) Hmm. What syndrome is this? Is this mental condition officially recorded with a name in medical books? Perhaps the wise ones and doctors in this group can enlighten us. How does making eye contact with someone and greeting them first make you less important ? If that's true, I will be out of that "order of importance" game even during auditions. I can go tap people and greet them, perhaps I should learn a thing or two going forward and behave like those grown ups. Perhaps that what I am supposed to do at 39. Phew.. so much worldly learning pending.