Yet another interesting conversation with a colleague and senior at work. The colleague's eight year old daughter who recently started playing soccer apparently was just running behind others who were chasing the ball instead of chasing it by herself. And the parents were disappointed about it. The rolley eyed me couldn't stop but said, shes just eight, let her be. The colleague said it's ok for her not to win but she should be giving her best (and pumped fists into the table). I said , how do you know she did not? Quiet. Silence. You seem to be a patient parent is the remark I got, followed by let's change the topic. I am glad we did. Patient parent (that sound so contradictory right)? I wasnt always at least to begin with. But growing up with bettu i understood that for a kid to grow up well, it's not about them raising up to our expectations, but rather its important we get down to their level of requirements and understanding. Not every kid is born to compete at eight. Some develop that skill at eighteen, twenty eight, may be even forty eight. Or maybe some never will. Just like how not all kids know to sim, dance, paint, be human, become a prodigy. Its an infinite spectrum. Does it mean we stop pushing them? Perhaps not. Where there is passion, let's help them set a goal, small or big. Let's help them work towards it. It's hard for kids to keep a goal in mind and work towards it. That requires a lot of maturity (common, how many times have we set goals and just forgot about them because it was too much work!). Let them enjoy the process of learning. Allow them to realize where they need to put more efforts. None of these are overnight changes. It takes years. We lose patience , we freak out when other overachieving kids come with remarkable successes and worry for our own. Guess what, each take their own time and eventually will find their way. Good guidance nevertheless is the constant in this case. Are kids that arent competitive at eight losers in life? Of course not. They have seen the earth only for eight years and have a LONG way to go and deal with competition all through life. If it comes naturally to them, nothing like it but until then let them be. Let us first try to become a better parent as much as we expect our kids to become better children. That's the devil in me. Now at rest.
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