This too shall pass

#debsaristories

This saree belonged to my maternal grandma and is special to me thus ❤. Since moving to USA we have been visiting India every year. Of course I am missing the trip this year. Who cares if it's hot and hunid, I never complained about it. I enjoyed the breeze summer evenings. I enjoyed street food, getting blouse stitching done and catching up on every detail. I miss street food and visiting ex colleagues turned friends. Enjoying how much things have changed yet nothing has changed. How much I still belong and hopefully will always do. The jetlag, the sleepy eyes, and exhausted body doesn't matter when we meet family. Sipping morning coffee from amma or the visit from neighbors especially mentioning how much bettu has grown up... all that is being missed now. I want everything to magically become normal. Just being kiddish like everyone else. I want the 2020 to rewind and restart to a happy path. Wish we could #timetravel and choose an alternative path and make things different. I know many many of you are in same situation and some even worse. A lot is going on and each of us are finding different ways to cope up and manage our spirits. Yes please keep it positive. Pls don't lose hope. I do believe- this too shall pass, just taking a little longer. But yes. Better days are ahead of us and yes I will enjoy every moment of my India trip whenever I could travel. Because some things are invaluable and thats all life is about. Apna khayal rakhna ❤

#debsaristories
 Okay okay, I am back as promised. A mom child themed duo choreo was a dream for me. I truly meant to only dreamt of it and honestly never planned for it to come true, but magic does happen. For you to see!
💥💥🌟 https://youtu.be/dl1WmwsFLlY 🌟💥💥
 One thing in my mind always was not the old conventional yashoda krishn songs, that doesn't resonate with me snd bettu personalities. We are equally mischievous and energetic, then came this song from Bahubali. Bettu adjusted the choreo to depict yashoda krishn, I enjoyed this a lot and it's close to my heart for obvious reasons.❤ Apologize to kids if you ever err., they learn from us. Usually we expect the kids to apologize to us everytime they make a mistake but we often forget to return the favor. No, think about it! If an adult makes the same mistake our kid does, i guess the way we react is different. We take kids at liberty and when we make a mistake although we feel guilty, sometimes we don't apologize verbally which I think is important for a healthy and friendly relationship even between parents and kids. I try to practice to set the stage for bettu to follow... dont let age and ego come in the way of manners.🥰 The saree is a bandhani one, got this from my bestie Minsha collection.

Badtameez Dil

#debsaristories
 Ab bettu to bacha hai, he's a kid so it makes sense him having filmy fun....but socho.. ma usse bhi zyada filmy nikli... (and yeah today I am the Ujala blue advertising gal)
💥💥💥🌟🌟🌟💥💥💥 Badtameez Dil choreo: https://youtu.be/qMrT3eKh5w8
Enjoy small moments of life and make memories. Jab tak bhudapa nahi aata hai, thodi badtameezi hi kar leyn!? Peppy foot tapping number and fast choreo to match! 💥💥💥🌟🌟🌟💥💥💥
He was prepping to choreo and dance for badtameez dil and first thing that comes to my mind is the bright blue saree and black sequins blouse (hum Deepika nahi hain aur hamara abs are replaced by flab so did the sanskari deepika version) of a similar saree. No other reasons except for... main kehti hoon jab tak bhudapa nahi aata hai, thodi badtameezi kar leyn!?

Rishton ka Manja

#debsaristories #calculatedrelationships #badpictureday Relationships. Huh. Such a tangle right? Every single form of it and there are NxN times combination! Rightly said as "rishton ka maanja"! I am all for true form of it. Friend, Colleague, Family, anything!
🌟🌟🌟🌟❤❤❤🌟🌟🌟🌟 #dance #manja https://youtu.be/K18ZTaQyrc0
Problems in life are like questions in an exam. They 'always' come with solutions. Sometimes it's hard to crack the solution, but patience and perseverance can help us get there with support from family and friends. This song is a representation of one such message, the choreo is lively and aligns to the musicality. #Inspiration #bepositive
 🌟🌟🌟🌟❤❤❤🌟🌟🌟🌟

The only one I dont get is the "calculated relationships" People "want" to connect with you for specific benefits. I mean how rude is that? I once knew a lady who has an amazing public figure, sounds philanthropic and has mass following but if you truly reach out for a genuine help not for yourself but someone that's in need- its neatly pushed off! No remorse, no emotion, simply refuse! Kaam khatam to rishta khatam. I have seen fake smiles, those that will vanish as soon as the job's done. I cannot assimilate and first assess "what will I get out of this relationship " and THEN start conversations! Hell no! Arey yaar, treat people well without expectations. Relationships aren't "business deals" in fact vice versa: for successful business deals , great relationships help! I am not quick in identifying such fake sheep and assume all is well until I get the brunt of it. Oh well. There is an opportunity for me to improve myself Bettu performed to this "rishton ka manja" so I felt like giving him company in gujrati style drape with "kai poc che" kites ! I got this saree assembled with three different fabrics. Since modal silk is rather heavy, I dint attach a fall.. so i can drape from either ends! Ignore my face, not the best .. but who cares..the saree takes the cake isn't it?

Be Happier

#debsaristories #choosehappiness #happier I mean it. "Choose" happiness even if it is the tough choice. Its like a medicine. It could come with a top coating of sugar but could be bitter to swallow, but similar to medicines it helps cure.. Here's a video to make you #happier ❤ https://youtu.be/L2pGGogO-C4 ❤

Every problem has two options - happiness and sorrow. In many cases, choosing happiness isn't easy at all, it may be next to impossible. You may think I am being absurd, but when I look back to the worst times of my life the choice I made to be happy and find solace in the situation had helped me overcome the negativity. Its not easy especially if you are dealing with a loss - personal, professional, material whatever it may be, and you are heartbroken how could you possibly be happy? Its ridiculous to think. But that's the point. You must definitely greive over the situation, however get over it and choose happiness. Imagine worser consequences of what could have happened and try to find the better of it. Last few days few of my besties at work and personal front weren't in the best of spirits. So I shared this with them and thought of extending to you all too..

❤❤ Three things I follow:
1. Nothing happens to anyone which he is not fitted by Nature to bear
 2. Your journey with anyone anytime and for how far and long is measured and destined. You don't get a moment less or extra
3. Things could have be worse, but the fact that we are alive in itself is a 100% bonus, that alone can help us fight back and regain what we want.
❤❤

Choose happiness.

Appadi Podu Podu Chennai

#debsaristories #coviddiaries
 ❤ mommy dance! https://youtu.be/x-zVi1-JQxw ❤
 We did it again. Bettu and me danced together. Video link above. When we decided this foot tapping tamizh madras style kuthu.. he was no way willing to dance alone. He wanted me as partner and said he enjoys dancing with me! Hey bhagwan that one reason is enough for me to do anything from tandav to disco. Just for him. Enjoying while it lasts. Again gals, I am not confident yet with moves and recording but thanks to bettu for toning down the choreo for me and also patiently redoing the recording as many times, if I missed or messed steps during the process. I thank god for sending him to me of all the amazing moms he deserves, its because of him the child in me is alive. All these years, no one ever volunteered or willed to dance with me and here he is, who truly enjoys my presence. Sob sob.
 In my previous post, I looked like i am prepping for saffola ad , this time I look like someone from Tamil Nadu tourism poster ad. 🤪

Speaking of madras and my times, I was recalling to patideb how our school excursions strategically revolved more around temple tourism. My third grade one day excursion was for Mahabalipuram shore temple, crocodile park and muthukadu boat. Oh well, there is always temple in the agenda. My eleventh grade three day tour included Trichy Vinayagar temple, Madurai Meenakshi temple, Tanjavur Brihadeeswar temple, Annai Velankanni temple, a mosque near that (forgot name) etc etc. Its hard to tell whether its pilgrimage or teenager tour, but we actually never complained. Reason? School, teachers , parents and students believed that we eleventh graders needed all the blessings from all gods for our twelfth grade exams and since we would be busy preparing then, we should do it earlier. In addition it also gives more strong reason to get strictest of parents permutation... see .. hai na smart idea? Did we not have fun. Absolutely we have great fun. Those are the days when no "smart" technology could ruin our freedom and fun. It was simple and memorable. Don't know if kids these days fancy such tours anymore when everything is more "fancy" and "international standards" (i dont get it) but if they do I am sure there are some good memories in making.

Phaguner Mohonay!

#debsaristories #coviddiaries #ADDAyushmanDDancer ❤ watch me dance!
https://youtu.be/0m_Bnu0CXFg

Of all versions of myself, the "Ma" version is most endearing to me. Bettu is interested in dance and has been conducting online workshops free during this lockdown and share them on his YouTube channel for others to practice. Never imagined that we would get to spend so much time together and doing what we both like and are passionate about - dance! We actually enjoy each others company, despite bettu being a just-turned-teenager and me being forty. We giggle, make fun, crack jokes and love being with each other, we literally do 'roll on the floor' laughing too at times. What's more touching is when bettu tells me, he loves me as his dance partner and wishes I do more workshop choreos with him. I resist. My machine isn't oiled in twenty years and its old and rusty. Happens. He doesn't seem to care, he wants me nevertheless and is always full of spark and admiration when I drape a saree. Per him, I look best in sarees apparently. Bhidu, mera bachcha hai tu! So today again we did a small routine together , I immediately agreed to this for three precious reasons: 1) bettu 2) saree 3) dance. ❤ video shared for you!

 🥭🥭🥭 Oh BTW this the avakaya season in most telugu households in India. During my childhood its an activity five or six moms do together at one household! Its no less than a ceremony on its own. Starting from picking the right date window (most women still avoid period time) that works for all. Then the right mango.. Gosh, its like choosing a life partner! It should be raw, crisp and the cutting of triangular pieces with each piece getting a slide of the hard shell is key. Any pieces without the shell are kept aside for thokku pachadi (simpler and less important cousin of the great avakaya). The right oil, but more importantly the spices. Mom used to buy the individual spices and get them powdered in the mill (while we die sneezing try eyed) until buying the ready-made mix from Bombay General Stores became convenient and popular. On the "muhurat" day women gather in the morning, go to the market to get the mango pieces ready. Once home, they clean each individual piece with cloth, no drop of water is allowed anywhere in the perimeter of the project. Children are prohibited from entering the "action area". Big buckets and earthen pots are kept ready. Pieces are mixed in the spices, dipped in oil, then carefully transferred to the big earthen jars. Buttermilk and card is used to wash off the spices.Extra oil on the top seals it for next few days. Upon completion of three days, taste validation happens to adjust for spices and also for my favorite part - adding garlic (i love avakaya with garlic). Ah the summer! Live each moment. Love each moment

My chai and me

#debsaristories #coviddiaries
 I wanted to drape green but ended up in yellow. When Kangana drapes a rs.600/- saree its BIG NEWS, lo hum ne bhi rs.600/- ka saree pehna. But, I am no Queen Kangana, so its not even last page item! I don't have a 200-300 comment wala story script but wanted to gapshap with you as usual in my simple sa gharelu kota saree.
I had packed all my cottons in a big suitcase knowing I wont drape them often and this baby was looking at me with the look that says "pick me pls". Yellow saree ke saath white crop top? Chalta hai when you are rushing to get your pic nevertheless

So here i am enjoying cold chai and thinking of another world, another age where a pandemic would have potentially brought the internet and world wide web down and even worse exposed all personal data to public, virus of a different kind. Then people end up "social media lockdown" of internet without even opening a browser and the world is brought to it knees yet again. And worse.. humans realize they are not prepared and never had written anything in their phone book or diaries in ages so they don't remember their best friends number by heart (I am assuming atleast humans remember their family's numbers). Socho kabhi aisa ho to kya ho? Its good to keep a small hand written note of important information including phone numbers, account numbers (sigh passbooks are thing of past now) and other things that matter including addreses etc. Kal yug hai... kuch bhi mumkin hai. Apna khayal khudh rakhna. ❤

Seven wonders of the world woven in my pallu

#debsaristories #coviddiaries ❤ When the world isn't traveling, I decided to bring all the seven wonders of the world to my pallu ❤ I was missing the enthusiasm of draping and when the hubby announced the arrival of a new drone of course bulb jala. This was on my wishlist, so checked! The seven wonders of the world reminded me of few correlations with our situation today and also a testament to why these truly are wonders! Each represent the strength of life.

 🌍 Leaning Tower of Pisa: Compassion. No matter how strong and tall you are, sometimes you still need a shoulder to *lean on*
🌍 Statue of Liberty: Friendship matters. irrespective of caste, creed, color, race, set, religion. Because when you need blood to save lives, you need a known or unknown friend.
 🌍 Great wall of China: Strength. To protect self and your loved ones and to stand tall and fight against odds
🌍 Hanging Garden: Respect Nature. World is ruled by nature. Period. None else, nothing else.
🌍 Pyramid of Giza: Value your past and ancestors. Isn't it true that this epidemic has taken many of us back to roots and the values which were at the verge of being extinction?
🌍 Colosseum: Celebration. Amidst all odds, life finds ways to smile and show its power. Similar to us sareeing to make our days sunny
 🌍 Tah wah Taj: Last but Best, love is all you need. When everything let's you down, love keeps you going. Of family, friends, strangers, acquaintances. Every delivery person that smiled, every Frontline worker that supports many dealing with illness, every shopkeeper that still goes to support and deliver things to aged parents, every neighbor that checks in on you.. list is endless. ❤❤❤

 I won't forget the lessons a simple virus is teaching the universe. Good or bad, its a version2.0 of life for many.
 Can you believe I wasn't in mood to drape sarees recently? Is it normal for people with passion sometimes to feel exhausted about it? I draoed this saree two times earlier. However both times I was in glaring sun so the beautiful weave dint get the due respect it deserves, so tried again today.
 Apna khayal rakhna

It's a milestone and I have all colors to paint my canvas

#debsaristories 💃💃 Aaj apun ka bday ch hai bhidu! 🎉🎊 Big party, celebrations, lots of hungama- was exactly NOT what I planned EVER! arey bhai aam aadmi (aurat) hai hum! Lockdown or not, the day was meant to be spent with family, that was the plan always. A movie and restaurant was missed. Some cuddling, some nostalgia and many memories. When I look back, I can't tell whether this was what I planned to be today. I never had plans, not big ones. I worked each step forward, I knew hardwork would give good results, I was taught dishonesty would lead to devastation. I was taught money is important but knowledge is more important. If you have knowledge you can earn money, but the reverse is not always true. When I look back..

🎈 I hardly remember my 10th bday. 

🎈I vaguely remember my 20th... college time and looking forward to life 

🎈I remember celebrating my 30th with bettu, who would then turn three 

🎈I will remember my 40th because it's like the half marathon checkpoint. 

 Self Assessment 

 🏅Checkin with myself if I turned out to be an ok human being 

 🏅Checkin to see that my mistakes in life (I have my own share) dont exceed blessings 

 🏅Checkin to see I continue spread positivity within home and outside 

🏅Checkin that I may not be anyone famous yet meaningful in small ways 

 Lessons learnt 

💪 Nothing happens without a reason 

💪 You may think you planned, you worked and thus achieved. Maybe. But pretty much the truth is, it was meant to be destiny. 

💪Everytime you think this was the worst, wait until the next event and everytime you look back you will see today is better than yesterday 

 💪 If life gives you coronavirus lockdown on birthday, take it. Atleast you are alive to celebrate one! 

💪If you stop complaining suddenly everything becomes beautiful and everywhere its happiness. Dont think chnage of place brings happiness, change of perspective does 

💪 Money is a necessity. But love rules the world 

💪 In my teens I thought love was everything in a relationship, in twenties I realized trust is more important, in thirties I realized respect is key and as I step into forties I know personal space matters. Cant wait for my next decade's discovery! There have been times when I tumbled and hurt real hard, when the path ahead seem blurry. However being myself helped me get along. Positivity, Humor, Integrity and Kindness. This helps. Today when I cross the half mark of life (I may have crossed it way back for that matter) I am thankful to everyone and everything that happened to me. 

 I lived every day like it were my last and will continue to do so! Days without color tv, days without comfort x days missing family when I was a working single, days traveling business class, days vacationing in some of my wishlist places (all in india), days lazing at a star hotel spa -- all meant the same to me. What I have today was not with me yesterday and may not be there tomorrow. So I will be mindful and respectful and thankful for my destiny

I had planned to drape this white with color pencil saree for my bday! ❤ the white canvas and plenty of colors symbolizes how I feel today.. an entire life ahead of me and I just started to paint it with a box of color pencils.

Ugadi Subhakankshalu

#debsaristories #ugadi
Aaj mere yaar ki bday hai! Jigri dost ka happy wala birthday. It's Ma's (MIL) birthday and also Ugadi today 🥳🥳🥳 Wishing you all Saarvari nama ugadi subhakanshalu!

We spent an entire lifetime blaming technology and internet, but be honest now - aren't you truly thankful for internet and wifi? What do you think? Wouldn't it have been more catastrophic if internet and wifi were down across the globe? And in past one week there were peaks of panic and valleys of depression now settling into a plateau of understanding and sinking in to reality. Anyways, today's the new year and of new beginnings, new hope and positivity. Ma's birthday today. So I am twice as happy. For the past few years we had started the habit of getting "girls time" with pedicure, lunch of her choice etc before or after the birthday, apart from the usual family celebrations.
This year, thanks to virus bhai saab it's all home alone. I although was enthu and wanted to cook a simple south Indian thali meal. So this was my menu- Mango pulihara, Vengaya sambar, Vazhakka poriyal, Beerakaya pachadi, Keera masiyal , Pavakka curry, Rice yogurt etc. I am off to make filter kaapi now. Been in back to back meetings for last few days. Actually I realized how big a workaholic I am because these days I am working for easily 16-18 hrs a day. So I cooked the meal late nights or early mornings as I knew I wont get time altogether. And these past week made me realize a valuable life lesson. I am thankful to bettu, its because of him i deprioritze EVERYTHING else and make sure I spend every minute with him, his classes, his hobbies. Now I realize he's been indirectly helping me stay sane and have a life beyond work. Otherwise my life would have sucked 🤣😛

CoVID Diaries

#debsaristories #covid19 Aa gaye na sab apne aukath pe? While the world leaders assuming they have the world in control, men faking their power on women, rich exploting the poor... a tiny microorganism silently disrupts the World, brings everything to a halt almost, cannot be seen, cannot be heard.

*****************
%% For every "hoarding " virus, there is a "sharing " anti-virus. What you have in precautionary excess maybe cruicial necessity for someone else.
%% For every "use money power" virus, there is a "kindness and humanity " anti-virus. Remember there are many that cannot afford to stock up.
%% For every "selfish, look down upon people" virus, there is a "help strangers and be front line" anti-virus. Pick your stand now!
*****************
No one can yet harm the virus and arrest it or hang it to death. No one can blame its religion caste of origin,. Ab batao... who is powerful? Like this virus , there are so many other invisible powers which time and again remind us we are nothing but a chaotic, helpless, unplanned, immature bunch of creatures.


Between practical and panic there are so many variations. While a group is busy stocking up toilet paper (sad we are killing more trees than before), tens of bags of onions, wiped out entire department store of santizing wipes, cleaned all cleaners from supermarkets (were we truly living a gutter life before the virus?), another group wonders why they arent joining the majority? They are doing their best to keep clean, not spread germs but yet not hoarding like crazy. Scratching their heads on how much can one stock when no one knows what's the end to this situation and when?!

 - I did not buy any supplies of cleaning or sanitizer
 - I bought dried and fried onions instead of real ones so they dont rot thanks to the panic over buying
- I bought tomato ketchup to replace real tomatoes as well if need be
- I bought lentils rajma chana as backup if ever we run out of veggies and meat and shops are shut - I bought milk and eggs enough that I would generally stock up for coming weeks, not months
- I have frozen veggies which may add up to any meal and also quinoa oats etc which could opt for healthy meal
- I havent purchased medicines that I wouldnt need if I already had one bottle each of the usual cold cough allergy fever medication
 - I did not want to create panic that would lead to depleting resources for someone that may truly be in need

 Offices are almost ghost towns, schools are closed and now starts the real problem. Now comes the real rubber hits ground situation
- Families that had almost forgotten living fulltime with each other realized they are locked up together for next four weeks - hum tum ek kamre mein bandh ho...
- Education and staying current requires new skills which everyone realized even developed countries did not equip themselves with. Many institutions are creative is requiring collaborative online classes.
 - Physical activities require more planning. Active kids that used to spend an hour or two exercising their fitness how need to rely on jogging at home, jumping jacks, squats, jump rope etc to keep up their momentum.

 %%%%%%%%%
Remember
 This too shall pass, life still goes on. There are many front line workers that dont stay home but actually out there serving others. Salute them. They have a life and families too. Stay safe, healthy and mindful
 %%%%%%%%%

Bura na mano Holi hai

#debsaristories #holi #internationalwomensday #beresponsible Womanhood comes with responsibility as much as manhood does. I am ashamed to accept that I really dont know when international men's day is (if there is even such a thing). So while the world is making big deal of the womens day, my thoughts wonder elsewhere as usual.

 *************************
My #womanhoodpledge - I dont need a day to celebrate being myself, t
hank you but no thanks. I celebrate being myself everyday.
 - I also pledge not to use my gender to play any sympathy case, special advantages cards etc.
 - I dont want to claim the "ladies quota" especially because I am seeking equality not favoritism.
 - I dont want to cut lines, so I can get ahead of other men. I am capable of working my way up in fair and just manner.
- I also dont want to assume all women have good intentions just like how all men dont have bad intentions either.
- Human beings of both sex have good and bad people. It's a matrix.. not singular one on one mapping. I will use wisdom and discretion in my judgement.
 - I also dont want to go overboard being this "new age woman" and lose my common sense in the process.
 - I will remember my mom's upbringing and my family's faith in me.
- I would always remember my priorities irrespective of my sex, be it work or home, just like I expect my man to.
 - I wouldn't do anything, I wouldn't expect my man to do. I maintain transparency both ways. We both are individuals and we would respect each other's space.
- I don't complain running errands, groceries, dishes etc knowing it's a choice I made and enjoy doing and fully knowing the rules could be swapped with my man, the days I want to lie on the couch lazily without reason.
- I love being the woman I am, I wouldn't be anyone else and I also deeply thank every man that supported me becoming who I am.
- I am happy in my space, be nice and I will let you be.
*************************
To think of it, my dad supported me in my education and didn't think of me as weaker or lesser offspring. My husband and FIL continued to support my career, my teachers who supported me get into awesome topping grades were all men, my friends in college and colleagues at work.. and my best male friend, my bettu.. thank you all. For because of you, I am celebrating Women's day. And I will every day. This is as "holi" as I can get. Amidst colorful background peacefully standing in my favorite white saree. I would dare not do this for real.

Off Spring and Cherry Blossoms

#debsaristories #madrastalkies #matchingwithnature #camouflaged #springblossom #Sabyasachi More Madras memories. We love temples, no no not just being religious, we love temples as much as our homes. Every "colony", every "area", every "nagar" has our own temple. 🥰

Temples are landmarks. Nope not just historic landmarks like Brihadeeswara temple, or Mahabalipuram or Kapaleeswarar temple. Its also our local GPS. Ask anyone for address help, they will always guide you with a temple as reference. Next lane to anjaneyar kovil, behind pillayar kovil, across from mariamman kovil... even big designer showrooms and banks and any huge landmarks..always refer them with a temple (blessings). On that note, one can lose count on how many shops and homes refer them as "near mada veedhi mylapore". But that's us. Oh btw I was born in kapali temple area mylapore, grew up near anjaneya kovil and now parents settled next to raja ganapathi alayam.. tell a temple reference and you make instant connect with a fellow madrasi. Heart to heart. Direct. Temples are also busiest places on New Year's eve. Even more than pubs. Yup you heard it right. Nowhere else I bet the midnight lines are long and crowded than the temples of madras performing special puja. The entire city even the non religious ones line up there no matter what. It just happens. We all are committed to making a good start every year. Families plan to visit temple in the midnight together. Bachelors also plan for beach party but stop by at the nearest parthasarthy temple or similar amidst the fun. It's just the way of life. And of course, Temples are for prayer, meditation, social gupshup, gossip, proposals, decide country's fate and world hunger, everything. No wonder when parents visit outside madras their first question in mind (beside whether we get idli maavu, vathal, vadaam, etc) is how far is the nearest temple? It truly matters because it's part of the daily routine. Whether you are religious or not, you cannot be not influenced by a kovil in madras. One way or other. Spring is in the air. Nature was blooming so I also matched with it.. I also attempted the belt and casual drape like my guru sabyasachi. Yeh I look like the nakli version of his model. But he is an inspiration to all indian women who love sarees and I am not ashamed trying his ideas in my own way :) I dint know which pic looks good. So posted few. Once you gals let me know which one to keep, I will delete the othe one and update the post accordingly. Teek?

#debsaristories #nomakeup #therealme #madrastalkies #summer #marinabeach The real me - no makeup whatsoever, simple garden vareli saree hand painted by ma 30 years ago, velvet blouse 20 years old from platforms of pondibazaar madras (yup it's always madras for me). This is all I dreamt of growing up. Ek acha sa family, the saree draped me, loving people at home (again not nuclear but joint family) happiness, garden, kitchen and kids (I dreamt of baby girl but now nothing can take bettu's place from my heart 🥰)

#debsaristories #shiva #power #shakti #slipofthetongue "I dont believe in looking pretty, I believe in looking real" I blurted impromptu yesterday in a work meeting. Radio Silence in the entire room. And the men folks (who are actually the nice kind to work with) go.. "ouch, that was a killer and super powerful Shalini ". The funny thing is I wasn't giving motivation speech or even talking about gender stuff. We were discussing our program status.

Some people have the mindset to believe that changing dates (pushing the problem to later) or changing the status color (sugarcoating) makes the problem vanish. Nope it doesn't. Others (I, me, myself) fall in this category like to see things ahead, worry ahead and try to solve ahead. And now read the above sentence again. That's what I meant, although the men couldn't stop giggling and i did say, "ok guys i take credit for this power punch of the day, move on"! Apt timing! As a kid I wondered how Mrs. Durga the beautiful, powerful, strong, badass woman ever liked a not so hep, unclean, almost unshaven, "ashes" for body odor instead of "Magnetic Axe" and especially when his job is to be the keeper of a graveyard. Look at his peers, they were well dressed, match gold ornaments with their wives, lived in heaven etc. Crude immaturity of course. It took me a decade or more of married life and bouts of "growing up" to see the "shakti" in their relationship. This Mr. Shiva is what many women seek in their partner. He is cool, doesn't care much for external looks, does his job really well and with sincerity, let his empowered spouse be in all ways possible. Let her be the forerunner for wars and victories, trusted her abilities, managed their individual tempers by dancing the anger out together (isnt that cool.. couple goals!?) and thereby gifting the world, the amazing bharatnatyam and shiv tandav, by nurturing a good family and yes valuing her personal space and let his wife visit her mom's place every year where she is celebrated for ten whole days by millions. That's a very different perspective. Needless to say he's my fav and also because I am married to such a person who lets me be and trusted my abilities even when I dint believe "I" had any (forget rest of the world) To all menfolk that are the Shiva's of the world today a big shout out for being our friends and walking by our side instead of expecting us serve at your feet! And that's the non-poser posing for Shiva and Parvati alias Durga today. #sotd is a hybrid linen.. perhaps jute mix. I like the fact it doesnt cling and wrinkle and I can repeat it again without any effort

#debsaristories #englishvinglish "You're good!", "I am good" and the confusion Work culture of course differs between countries and so does language, although English is the universal (and phunny) language

 ########### In the initial days, during one of the face to face meetings with an executive
 Me: (wrapping up the meeting), and that's all I had in agenda for today
Exec: ok great, you're good!
Me: (surprised and wondering how he knows I am good especially because I had just joined but anyways I happily thought my good work reputation runs ahead of me 😛) "THANK YOU"
Exec: "Sure, You're good" Me: (this person seems to be very good and humble, he's repeating in praise) "THANK YOU VERY MUCH "
Exec: "????????" Expression wondering why I wasn't leaving his office. So he said "I am getting late for another meeting and you're good "
Me: "ok thank you. Also many thanks for your generous compliments "
Exec: "Excuse me?" But he didn't bother to drag the conversation
Me: super happy that day. But shortlived. Mujhe kya patha tha "You're good" means "Chal nikal, phut le yahaan se" or in simple words "get out".🙄🙄🙄
 ############
Few months later, Different day, Different Exec. I had brought some goodies from India and I was sharing it with my colleagues. Being the respectful person that I am (of course kidding), I walked in to ths Exec's office After exchanging pleasantries about my trip, and catching up on work
Me: I brought these sweets from India, hope you like them
Exec: I am good
 Me: (wondering why he is suddenly self boasting) "I agree, in fact we all see you as our leader and guide, oh btw do you want these sweets?"
Exec: (not exactly following my comment) "Not sure about my leadership, but I am good"
Me: (hadh hai, yeh to arrogant bandha nikla, baar baar self dabba kar raha hai, who cares if he is good or not, I am not here to give his character certificate and I wont praise him anymore) "Oh, you are good, but the team is great too. They are very hardworking " By then I wasnt in mood to offer him sweets anymore as I was annoyed and I made an excuse and stepped away. Oh well, the exec didn't complain either because that's what he had been trying to communicate from the first place! "I am good" matlab "I dont need what you are offering " or basically "Baat khatam"
 🥰🥰 And I learnt to live by two other mantras. 1. You can be forgiven for any mistake if you blame it on the lack of your usual morning caffeine intake. "Its not me. It's the coffee or lack of" 2. You can become friends with anyone if you empathize and offer them coffee. It connects almost instantly. No occasion, just sunny day, happy Friday, happy me. Saree pehenne ka koi acha waqt nahi hotha hai, jab pehno tabhi se acha waqt shuru #battameezdil

#debsaristories I came back too soon. Waise Chai piyoge? Cooking to me is equivalent to prayer and feeding equals to blessings, so obviously kitchen to me is sacred and favorite place. I enjoy the process starting from chopping to the final presentation, every single time. I like to serve well even if it's just us and not only when expecting guests. It must look good, smell good and then of course taste good. Its seduction. And chai to me is amruth "prasad".

 Today when baba ate my typical bengali "bandhakopi r tarkari" for lunch and said I made it like his mom used to, it's a huge compliment and blessing. Especially because I learnt from my mother inlaw who learnt from her mother inlaw. Back when I was 13 and made bhindi for the first time, nanna (dad) said the same thing that it reminded him of his mom's (nannamma) vanta (haath ka khana).. although my grandma passed away when I was 3 and whatever I cooked that day was from my own heart's recipe. Besides sarees the only other personal favorite I can pass to my nextgen is everything I learnt from amma and ma. Today early morning I dreamt of having chai with Niveditha in our previously owned gurgaon apartment. I don't care where, but certainly Nivi ke saath chai would be an amazing moment. I think the dream is a consequence to her traffic wala post from yesterday! Agar mera ek aur sapna sach hona chahoongi, that's my dream to do saree (and only saree) modeling . Bachpan se shauk tha modeling ka, kabhi poora nahi hua. Model wale looks nahi the na. Khair chodo. I loved all the khadi sarees from Darbaar movie and I realized I dont have a ponduru khadi saree in my collection, so although I wasnt planning to, I settled for this begumpuri saree to enjoy chai, kurkure with Ma and watch our favorite TV shows the Kapil Sharma show and Dance Plus. All cottons to me are "indoor sarees" nowadays. The weather here although not snowing doesnt favour cottons a lot. Smirk. 🙏🙏 Annadhatha sukhi bhava 🙏🙏 Ghar bhaite World Tour! Dakho mein kahan kahan chali gayi (pic in comments). Patideb asked if I need more tours I said, nahi bhai.. bahut zyada jetlagged hoon, do din lagenge recovery mein.

#debsaristories #desividesi saree and crop top Never have i been so excited about growing older, so much so that I countdown every day. This 40 is definitely doing some tantra mantra on me. By now half the world I know and the rest of the world they know know my age. 🤣🤣🤣 colleagues (the Male ones had this, oh! Is she sharing her age publicly expression), gymwale, all usual departmental stores I visit, neighbors, and their world knows it. I share with them my goals or things to do I have in mind this year Oh no! My intention isn't celebrations or gifts. Least of my excitement now. But something motivates me to take a pause and do a check in with myself, because more than half of life's marathon is completed. I don't remember this enthusiasm before my 10th bday, or 20th and 30th bday. Those came and left. Perhaps its because I am around from a long time and feel I am antique, gyani now. Like.. forty years down the line someone sees my pic from today and then someone else says "sorry madam ajkal aise piece market mein available hi nahin hai.. yeh to chalees saal purana maal hai.. abhi aisa karigari nahi milta" Perhaps because I turned out to be ok after all, because all of us took time and effort to be what we are today. Maybe because I feel so young at heart, I am laughing at this number to say "tu pagal hai, I don't feel 40". Or because a lot of us don't fit into typical stereotypes that the age number brings with. In over excitement, I had committed not to buy new sarees. Ye, I splurged last year and bought few collectible ones too and stacked them like priced possessions with no intent of draping them anytime soon. But omg, it ain't easy at all to resist any amazing six yards. Its like addiction and getting away from it is tough. I told family though: I am open to receiving saree as gift, that's not a problem with my resolution. Immediately comes patideb response- this year my goal is not to gift saree to anyone. 😡🤬🤬🤬 he knew to be on mute rest of the day. Oh btw patideb is taking me places these days. Don't run far into imagination. He found this app that does the job of switching background pretty good, so any vacation I have in mind he uses that as background with my saree pic in forefront. And then says "anyway your matlab is not about visiting places and learning, your main motto is a saree pic, so here you go. I can even take you to moon this way!" 🤬🤬🤬 So yea! I am on moon today as you could see!

#debsaristories #desividesi xxxl size post You dont realize what you gained unless you lose. ❤There always can be a better you ❤ #feel20at40 Different people different problems. For some that are long limbed the disadvantage is that weight gained gets camouflaged and you dont realize when you shape towards unhealthiness.

"You look fine", "You are skinny anyways", "you have nothing to lose " are common un-compliments. But honestly, your inner voice may not always buy those! Mine didn't. Human beings are animals and our skeletal structure is very lean. Rest of the animals in the ecosystem may not go through weight issues maybe because their lifesytle and habits have been significantly consistent since creation. Like lions dont watch TV with popcorn or deers dont drink soda and eat junk. But humans have evolved into other beings than originally created. So our bodies have started messing up as well. Unless we work hard and take conscious efforts to stay on track it's hard to be close to the original design. Its like handloom sarees. It requires effort and skilled labour and its tough. My ahaa moment was in May last year and have worked out fifteen pounds off of me since. I have a personal goal to look like my twenty self when I turn forty in few months later -- only more happy, wise, healthy and emotionally wealthy. I am still on the way towards the goal and will share with you all as soon as I get there. The feeling of healthiness and being active and physically energized is the reason for this effort- looking skinny or not is a bonus, and not the main reason. EDIT: I joined a gym where the one hour workouts are HITT. Treadmill, Water rowing and Floor exercises. When you start its definitely tough and tiring. I went five days a week although for around five-six weeks, later maintained atleast 4-5 days a week. During this time I would be ravenously hungry after workout so relied on eggs for breakfast. Lunch would be daal or salad. The key difference is to complete dinner by 6:00pm. Later if you are hungry, grab few nuts. Drink water (the terrible headaches due to dehydration are definitely not worthy). In between if you snack, eat chat, drink chai,eat icecream that's perfect. Marna thode na hai... fit hoke jeena hai bass. You would definitely see difference. The toughest part was to get up of the bed early morning (that was my only available me-time spot). Honestly, everyday I would feel like going back to bed, but the visible results and the inner satisfaction kept my driven. I want to try Pilates or Yoga but want to be slow and steady. Ab bhi long life ahead. I don't need to exhaust all mu options at the same time, I can stagger instead. So pls dont take fitness and health lightly. We are privileged to have the ability and access resources to eat and live a healthy life. There are many out there struggling to meet basic needs, do understand that our bodies and mind are our responsibility. Apna khayal rakhna.