Speakig of friends, Father in law's dont get the same attention in conversations as much as mother in laws. When I think of such silent unsaid friends, I think of baba. Apparently when Patideb shared the idea of marrying a non bengali girl, baba wasnt too happy. Their social circle had many families that could have willingly turned into a relationship. However from the time when we first met, baba never made me realize his feelings. Of course the initial period of time was for us to learn and unlearn. Baba used to have some strong preferences and I slowly learnt all of that from ma. However the best common thing between us was chai. Baba and I were and are are best friends for chai. We can bond over midnight chai. That soon became our connect. Who ever gets up first would make chai for the other. Baba used to understand my taste and would cook special dishes just for me in his spare time. Baba likes presentation a lot, he comes from a family where every meal was tastefully hosted and served and guess what, that worked for us.. I am the type that would serve a simple salad neatly decorated in a platter with some special touch. That's our bonding. That brings a smile and sparkle to baba's face. Over the period of last fifteen years we have come a long way. If I mess up stuff and even if the rest of the family is mad at me, he would stand by me and say bachi hai, it's ok. It feels very good, I can't explain. He is the one that turns away courier delivery boys saying.. "we already have many sarees, this isnt our package, kisi aur ko de do", but when ma goes to Kolkata he calls her everyday and first question is "did you shop for chinni yet? Puja is approaching, Get her good stuff, she will be happy ". We are the team that decorates garden, light our house and he is around to help me in all my childish projects. We do have heated conversations, especially around chemical compositions, vinegar, fertilizers, etc. But immediately we resolve it over chai, the cooler one of us offer to the heated one of us, that's about it. He made me this yummy upma this weekend after I woke up late after late night movie. Always a smile. Always blessings. We trust each others intent and that has removed any differences of opinions at all. Whether or not baba was unhappy in the beginning, I am unaware but I never felt even one bit of it since we met. All he wants is I be myself, the way I gelled within the family instead of trying to create one on my own terms. And during mahalaya when I wake up and birendranath version of mahalaya, he just chokes and smiles and blesses me with all his heart. Patideb and I have tough goals to meet when it's our turn as "in laws" but hey we have a wealth of knowledge and experience, right at home. After all that's why they say home is the best institution. My friend baba.
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