#debsaristories Facebook asks me "what's in your mind" I say- hope, happiness and peace. "Hok shuru din guna", means "let the countdown begin" #durgapujo is here. Advantage USA? Pujo starts one weekend ahead and goes one week past! There are pros and cons to everything in life, this is a SUPER big pro for saree lovers in us!

 Me and Ma are all set with our pujo shaaj. Of course, as it always happens we keep changing minds and sarees till the last minute. A lot depends you see. .. it's very strategic planning. What others are wearing, what colors seem to be uncommon and which ones are common so we should avoid, the accessories the entire look! Phew such a tough job. 360 days of planning for the 5 day full day outing with Durga. We compliment strangers, we smile at known and unknown faces, we read minds and answer them without being asked, we enjoy eating bhog, serving bhog, catching up on chai and most importantly we love just being there, in the moment Are we not religious? Of course we are. Every moment the Durga in me is awake and aware and keeps reminding of the strength within me and power I bring to earth. My head held high I walk to thee, the Ma, for you gave the likes of me to bring lives to earth. Me and ma in our pujo shuru blouses. Ma in a grey benarasi jaal chiffon, and I am in red jamdani organza

#debsaristories #wish #fearofloss Absolutely poor quality pic, sob sob, although this is one of my long time wishlist saree, I definitely couldn't do justice.

 Fear. Do you go through this? When I get call late night from amma I dont pick it. I actually dont. If the call repeats I shudder. If it goes thrice I dread. I dont have the guts to pick the call to hear anything that I cannot withstand. Amma , Nanna live far away, and the me doesnt have any guts to.let anything happen to them since I am not around. Similarly, when baba oversleeps I get restless, I dont want to go to his room and check. I keep loitering outside his room making noises to disturb him so I could wake him up. When ma doesnt finish her workout and yoga on time I go crazy. I yell at kiddo for no reason because I know she will be out asap to rescue her grandson and get mad at me. I dont mind being yelled at or them getting annoyed, it's my secret way of ensuring they are doing fine. My intention is not to create tension in their minds but actually to relieve mine. I care too much and feel too much that I pray for immortality for my loved ones. I am weak and I cant think beyond. I am human and only want happiness to those that are mine. Like almost everyone in the group, a golden Rekha kanjivaram is something I would love to possess too someday. Guess what, truth is a) its expensive b) I dont have any occasions in near or far future that would call for such a beauty. Reality check. That's when I bumped into this beauty. It's easy to drape, stays in place and looks elegant. That's all I needed.

#debsaristories #fatherinlaw #myfriend Happy birthday my friend Ganesha. May you always bless everyone and give us strength to remove obstacles enroute our life.

Speakig of friends, Father in law's dont get the same attention in conversations as much as mother in laws. When I think of such silent unsaid friends, I think of baba. Apparently when Patideb shared the idea of marrying a non bengali girl, baba wasnt too happy. Their social circle had many families that could have willingly turned into a relationship. However from the time when we first met, baba never made me realize his feelings. Of course the initial period of time was for us to learn and unlearn. Baba used to have some strong preferences and I slowly learnt all of that from ma. However the best common thing between us was chai. Baba and I were and are are best friends for chai. We can bond over midnight chai. That soon became our connect. Who ever gets up first would make chai for the other. Baba used to understand my taste and would cook special dishes just for me in his spare time. Baba likes presentation a lot, he comes from a family where every meal was tastefully hosted and served and guess what, that worked for us.. I am the type that would serve a simple salad neatly decorated in a platter with some special touch. That's our bonding. That brings a smile and sparkle to baba's face. Over the period of last fifteen years we have come a long way. If I mess up stuff and even if the rest of the family is mad at me, he would stand by me and say bachi hai, it's ok. It feels very good, I can't explain. He is the one that turns away courier delivery boys saying.. "we already have many sarees, this isnt our package, kisi aur ko de do", but when ma goes to Kolkata he calls her everyday and first question is "did you shop for chinni yet? Puja is approaching, Get her good stuff, she will be happy ". We are the team that decorates garden, light our house and he is around to help me in all my childish projects. We do have heated conversations, especially around chemical compositions, vinegar, fertilizers, etc. But immediately we resolve it over chai, the cooler one of us offer to the heated one of us, that's about it. He made me this yummy upma this weekend after I woke up late after late night movie. Always a smile. Always blessings. We trust each others intent and that has removed any differences of opinions at all. Whether or not baba was unhappy in the beginning, I am unaware but I never felt even one bit of it since we met. All he wants is I be myself, the way I gelled within the family instead of trying to create one on my own terms. And during mahalaya when I wake up and birendranath version of mahalaya, he just chokes and smiles and blesses me with all his heart. Patideb and I have tough goals to meet when it's our turn as "in laws" but hey we have a wealth of knowledge and experience, right at home. After all that's why they say home is the best institution. My friend baba.